Instead of caramel apples this Halloween, melt jolly ranchers in a 250 degree oven for around 5 minutes, then pour over your apples. Add edible glitter for the sparkling space effect!
this is kind of genius
WHOANIGHT VALE APPLES
ALL HAIL GLOW APPLES
I want one
OMG notsomolly the SHINIES
I prefer large pizzas but I’ll take what I get
How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.
- Get a garter from somewhere; this one is a sock garter from Sock Dreams, which means it’s made to stay the fuck up there.
- Get a fucking sheath for those sharp, pointy things and put them in the sheath. There’ll be a velcro loop at the top so that they won’t slide out if you hold the sheath upside down.
- Put the garter through the loop at the top meant for whatever you’re using to attach it to yourself. Attach it to yourself, adjusting for ease of grabbing. You don’t want to put it on your inner thigh because that is awkward as hell to get out. The only way you’d be able to get it out in a timely manner is if you attached the sheath upside down, at which point you’d need two garters to keep the sheath from tilting inward toward your other thigh.
- Oh no, now the sheath is hanging loosely and is going to make a weird pattern against your clothing. Tuck that shit into your stockings if you’re wearing them, or use another garter if you’re not.
- Pull your pencil skirt back down over the knife sheath. Adjust accordingly due to tightness of skirt and shape of sheath. Make sure you can get at it as quick as you want.
- People look at you really strangely if this is the knife you pull out when you want to cut your apple up.
Vital Information for your Everyday Life.
Reblogging this so I remember to show it to my wife.
I used to do this in high school cause 2 days of the week we did internships and shit and i had to bus alone to downtown seattle and there always creeps. I recommend listening to this.
|—||Neil Gaiman (via crescent-moon-rising)|
dont ask me for relationship advice because i will always just tell you to break up w/ them and throw their shit in a dumpster because i do not understand the concept of allowing anyone to treat you poorly this is a zero tolerance zone
“Anaconda” turns Nicki’s butt into a literal force of nature, causing earthquakes in a jungle setting. After parodying the idea of exoticism by opening on a jungle scene, she shifts into a workout setup with comically small weights. All of these setups make the same point: Nicki’s body is the modern ideal. And because Nicki is spitting rapid-fire jokes the whole time she is onscreen, it’s impossible to feel like she’s been reduced to a mere body.
This is confirmed by what comes next: Nicki squirting whipped cream on her tits, fondling a banana, and then slicing the banana with a maniacal laugh. Cutting up a metaphorical dick onscreen makes it even more clear that the “Anaconda” video is about Nicki asserting her power, not as a sexual object but a sexual subject. Both the suggestive choreography and the song’s lyrics, which recount a series of sexual encounters, double down on the fact that Nicki has all the power here, and that she can show as much of her body as she likes and retain all that power.
Fall Out Boy + tumblr posts
Black Widow comics + tumblr posts